For Your Consideration

I think I know how you feel: everyone wants a piece of you and you can’t trust a soul. I bet you’re not feeling like you’re in a good place.

It struck me recently that while you make news for just walking down the street and everyone says “they hope you get better”, no one to my knowledge has ever offered a plan to help you. Except maybe Dr. Phil, but that just smacked of being self-dealing. Well, that struck me as a bit unfair, really. The other day my wife and I were doing a little shopping and this subject came up as a topic of discussion. I had been thinking of ways you could take control of your life again. It will take time. It will take work. I outlined my plan to my wife over a hotdog and coke lunch. Perhaps you could consider the following:

1. Sell one hour blocks of your time to all the media outlets willing to pay $250,000 per hour for a print interview. If they want to videotape it, the cost would be $500,000 per hour (No limit!). Have them make the checks out directly to your favorite charities. I look at it this way: They’ve been making all this money off of you for years, it’s time to make them pay up. I figure this is good for several million dollars in a very short period of time.

2. Invite the press to cover you hand-delivering each of these checks as you receive them. Spend at least a day or so with each charity, doing additional fund-raising on-site. You’ll not only get positive press for each check, but you’ll be turning their industry on itself, using that machinery to generate more positive publicity! Even better, invite your kids and ex-husband as well! You’ll gain continued strength and the press will lap it up.

3. Advise the court through your legal representatives that you will not fight your father for conservatorship of your estate. Cease any current or planned litigation. It’s a time, life-force energy and money waster which is why you’re not likely to get this advice from the attorney handling that aspect of your legal issues. Listen, your Dad has a legal obligation to “conserve” the money in the estate so you need not worry that he will blow any of your hard earned wealth. Consider that it might be better in the long run while you get other things in your life sorted out. You’ll be sending a strong message to the court that you’re starting to “get it” and most people will begin to believe that your growing up. Make sure your publicity people get this out the press. Let the paparazzo know that they could get an exclusive to discuss this issue with you for $250,000. See #1 and #2 above for what to do with the money.

4. Advise the court through your legal representatives that at this time, you accept the terms of present parental visitation situation. Your antics are making people believe your ex-husband Kevin is the father of the decade! Have the good sense to stop giving your enemies ammunition to use against you. Popular opinion and consensus says you’re not well enough to take care of your kids at this time. I’m not saying they’re right, but at this point, you’ll have to prove them wrong. It’ll take time and effort. I promise you this, it will be worth it.

5. Get up to date with any outstanding legal issues. It’s a noose around your neck and time to get rid of it. If the court asks that you attend counseling, attend counseling. If they ask you to appear for deposition, appear for deposition. Again, it’s not going to be easy, but in order to get control of your life, you’ve got to give in. In time, these issues will disappear. Stop feeding the frenzy around you.

6. Cautiously and adamantly guard your privacy. This may seem to be in contradiction to what I’ve previously written, but it’s not. You have a personal life and it’s time to reclaim it. Your path is a public one and it was created at your choosing. You cannot expect that the industry that’s been built up around you to suddenly go away because it won’t. But you can start the process. After the media outlets have paid their millions for exclusives with you, send out a press briefing that for the foreseeable future, you will live in a local Southern California hotel (with a large enough meeting hall) and invite them to an 8 hour press conference every work day (less one hour for lunch) for the foreseeable future. That’s right: 5 days a week, 7 hours per day. It’s your new job: making them sick of seeing you. Britney, at it’s core, it’s supply and demand theory. Now that you’ve made them pay for access to you, give it away now! Nothing will make you less attractive for the paparazzo than access to you for 35 hours a week! Put no timetable on how long you will continue this. Basically, keep it up until they get tired of being there. It is in doing this that you begin to control your image and through it, your life. Few things will be as empowering.

7. Make certain you make clear in this time with the media, that you are looking forward to reconciling with the loved one’s in your life: your parents, your kids, even your ex-husband. As you begin to look like you’re regaining your balance, it will soon become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You will begin to regain the balance you’ve lacked in your life.

8. Begin to understand that we all have a role to play. Yours is unlimited access to media. With that, you can make a difference in many people’s lives. Instead of fighting against it, embrace it. Enjoy it. Accept it. Use it to make other people’s lives better. You can do it. It will make you stronger, it will make you feel better about yourself.

9. After the paparazzo have grown weary of you in your hotel meetings, tell them you’re going to travel abroad for awhile. Invite your kids and ex-husband along. Maybe even your parents - Invite them to join you, too. Gain strength from your family. Be forgiving to the point of selflessness. You can arrange it so that additional fund-raising can be done. You’ll see the world like few have ever seen it. Take your time. No one owns you and over time you’ll learn to be focused on the moment.

10. Consider additional creative outlets. Return to music and acting. You will be in a different place than where you started. You’ve changed, you’ve grown in experience and in life. Embrace the changes. The well of goodwill you’ve filled is important and no one will be able to take it away from you. You’re wiser and will be better equipped to tell the difference between those that care about you and those that are inclined to use you.

11. Consider learning about your own finances. Be mindful of your abilities but lessen your need for alleged financial professionals. It’s not all that difficult and you’ve already attained “critical mass”. You don’t need to worry about getting it all correct, you just need to make sure you miss the big mistakes.

If you’ve followed this bouncing ball to this point, your legal issues will be minor and manageable. By this point, you’ve understood that it is a “process” to be completed so make the best of that meat-grinder with the knowledge that in terms of a lifetime, it’ll be over soon.

Britney, I wish you the best of luck!

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 17:51 and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.